Tag Archives: fresh meat

Monumental update

I’m still here! Just been doing SO MANY derby things all my free time has been spent sleeping and doing my actual day job (booo). But stand by for the most enormous of updates!

berlin_bombshells_bear_city• WAY back in November, Petra, HellCat, Conway and I went to BERLIN to a bootcamp with the gorgeous Berlin Bombshells. I learnt how to hockey stop, and promptly forgot/couldn’t do it on our home floor. Whilst in Berlin, we stayed in Isy’s friend’s awesome converted warehouse, visited Master Blaster’s Skate shop and stroked Marylin Monroe’s furry eyebrows in Roses Bar.


Drying out our pads at the venue...

Drying out our pads at the venue…


• January saw the arrival of more brand new Fresh Meat – and their subsequent graduation in March, complete with donkey and jockey costumes… I am now both scared and impressed at the rate with which our new rookies are rocketing through minimum skills. In the absolute best way, I feel like I need to up my own game if I want to keep my place on the team, eek!


donkey derby

donkey derby 2

• At the end of January, five of us went to BRUGES for Derby Revolution. It was a non-stop skills-fest with coaches like Suzy Hotrod, Sarah Hipel and Mickispeedia (omg!). Amazing classes, sticky as hell concrete floor (with drains and holes to make it more exciting) and a whole ton of amazing skaters. I learnt what happens when you belly flop on concrete (ow), and that ‘intermediate’ means a lot of different things – but most importantly, that over 20 hours of skating in two days is just about the best thing ever. Doubly good as a way of breaking in new skates. This post is so late in the making that they’re actually doing their Summer Revolution RIGHT NOW, and I am incredibly sad not to be there…

That time we met Suzy Hotrod...

That time we met Suzy Hotrod…

Copyright Ian Roofthooft 2014

Copyright Ian Roofthooft 2014

• April was a particularly exciting month – Bath Roller Derby Girls went to PORTUGAL where we played Lisbon Grrrls in our very first public game. Ranked, with the brand new rule set and a proper crowd – it was such a fun game! The final score was 151-132 to Bath, which shot us into the European rankings at 260. Here are some clips from the game, as featured on Portugese youth show ‘Outdoors’:

You can also hear us on BBC Radio Bristol here:


• Following our public debut we’ve bouted a few more times, both publicly and closed. South Wales has a delicious little cluster of roller derby teams who’ve been great fun to play, and following some hard-fought games with both Portsmouth and Swansea Bs we bounced out – and back in – to the rankings, now sitting at a stable 269.


• Fundraisers have been at an all time high, with pub quizzes, car boot sales, clothes swaps and film screenings, including a showing of Murderdrome (complete with zombie usherettes) and a Fresh Meat film by our very own Trevlock Holmes.

Zombie Usherettes!

Zombie Usherettes!

• May brought us the South Coast Roll, where lots of us enjoyed a day’s skate around Goodwood Motor Circuit. S’Mac Down Angel skated a marathon, just for funsies…


• And most recently, we’ve been getting our bootcamp on again! As well as attending Tiger Bay Brawlers’ excellent Double Threat Tour in Newport, we’ve had an introduction to reffing with Sleaze and Rollin’ Rat, and guest coaching from Team USA’s Juke Boxx…

Photo: Sam Bolderson

Double Threat Tour with Tiger Bay Brawlers. Photo: Sam Bolderson

Photo: Daisy Offer

Team Sleaze! Photo: Daisy Offer

ref training with sleaze

Rookie – and not-so-rookie zebras. A terrifying herd – pretty sure there were more refs than players!

It’s been a hell of a year so far, but no resting just yet – the end of this Summer will bring with it special event… stay tuned for details!

Oh, and here’s the treat I promised for reading all the way down. A positively adorable comic from my most favourite comic writer just now, Lucy Knisley.

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If I could reblog this a million times I would

A funny and inspirational account of Fresh Meat from one of our newest league members, Hen. This is ace:


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Fresh Meat has landed!

Dino/unicorn post pending… but for now:

Our Fresh Meat totally just graduated, which means they’ll be joining in main league training from like, next week! WE LOVE YOU, MEATIES!


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All work and no sleep makes Jack get injured.

Result of a comedy moment in which a wooden bench was brutally assaulted by my shin.

Meet my shinjury. The most disappointingly disproportionate pain-to-bruise ratio ever. (It’s fine for walking/skating on, but OHMYGOD if something touches it, flames literally engulf my body in a cornucopia of raging dragon-vomit pain hell.)

Other than that, June has been an excellent month for skating! BRDG have taken a real leap forwards in the last four weeks: every session is reaching the point now where I’m slightly scared to push harder. Which is absolutely a good thing. I think the mixture of ace coaching, scrimmaging with refs, TBB’s bootcamp and some really hard work from the BRDGs themselves have seen a gradual shift from sessions being fun and exciting, to being hard, fast, and incredibly rewarding.

The Fresh Meat course is also in full swing and the newbies are coming along wonderfully. I can’t believe it’s been 6 whole months since it was me lacing up my skates to meet BRDG for the first time. It’s great talking to the excited newbies, especially knowing that I still feel just as excited about the game as when I started – maybe even more so now!

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Ah man, I haven’t posted in like, a million years. Which is bad because two million things have happened in the last month and now you have a massive post to wade through 🙂

After the somewhat demoralising oh-look-more-minimum-skills-‘kay? situation, Bath had the delightful news that we have more scrimmages and shared training coming up! Our first full practise scrimmage is tomorrow with Devon Clotted Screamers, and I’m 100% excited and 101% terrified.

I totally stole this from Roller Derby City who are printing our shirts.

I totally stole this pic of our shirts from Roller Derby City who printed them for us.

But wait, what’s that you say? SCRIMMAGE KIT? In SUNSHINE YELLOW? With logo and derby names and numbers?! Steady breathing now.
I am SO excited – roller derby awesomeness aside, I’ve always always wanted a shirt with my name on the back – ever since I was a 6-year-old football-obsessed tomboy and my Mum banned me from having my name on my Arsenal shirt in case I got abducted or something. And not only is this one named and numbered, I ACTUALLY GET TO WEAR IT FOR MY ACTUAL TEAM. 😀  The shirts are currently sitting in Hannah’s house waiting for tomorrow, when we will put them on and I suspect never ever take them off.

Next in the two million things that have happened lately: BRDG are opening up the doors to Fresh Meat in a mere 20 days! Really looking forward to meeting all the new skaters; we’ve already had lots of interest from people wanting to skate in the league, but also refs and NSOs. Delight!

Finally for now (as it’s bedtime and I refuse to be tired for tomorrow’s scrim), about a hundred years ago back in April, some of us skated the new Two Tunnels route between Bath and Midford. About 5 miles in total, starting at Linear Park and going all the way through the tunnels to Midford and back. It’s all brand new tarmac so it’s smooth as hell, and being an old railway line it’s flat flat flat and straight. Sorta feels like you’re going downhill both ways. I’ve put some photos below, but what they don’t show is the awesome darkness and ambient music that plays as you go through the two long tunnels. Also it’s considerably less blurry and grainy IRL, even when you’re on skates and using a camera phone as your eyes. 😀

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Birthing the excitement baby (aka FIRST TIME JAMMING!)

De-skating after the hottest roller session yet!

De-skating after the hottest roller session yet…


Today’s healthy breakfast comprised Coco Pops, cake and Ribena. With sugar levels already through the roof it was all I could do not to explode before hitting our brand new training venue for guest coaching with 4 of the Severn Roller Torrent.

It was brilliant. After an hour and a half of some ace drills and skills coaching I was pretty sweaty and tired (and presumably sinking into a glucose come-down), but then was uttered the magic word: SCRIMMAGE. And lo, I learnt the meaning of ‘reserve energy’.

Now having previously only scrimmaged for 3 minutes of my life (1/3 of which was spent in the penalty box(!)), I was both excited and terrified – especially as my hand nominated me as jammer before I could stop it. I don’t know what I was thinking – I’ve never done anything like jamming before; jamming is everything that terrifies me. Not so much the gameplay, but everything that goes with it. The responsibility of scoring the points, securing lead jammer position, not fouling, having sufficient cardio to not die half way round the track. Shiiiiiit!

After a minor internal freak-out that I was finally about to do the thing I’ve been dreaming about for 6 months (what if I’m completely shit? What if I let my team down? I’M DEFINITELY JUST ABOUT TO DIE) I decided to just STFU and concentrate. And holy crap, there is so much to think about. Desperate not to waste my first jamming scrimmage in the penalty box, I made it my mission to be the cleanest damn player on the track. Unfortunately, I was trying so hard not to foul, I completely missed the opposing jammer getting lead, and after fighting my way through the pack, I spent the rest of the jam playing catchup. Not one to be defeated by my own stupid priorities, I skated fast and managed to force a call before I could lose any points, but craaaaaap it was so hard! I realised I really need to work on my overall fitness if I’m gonna do this sport, and I need to force my brain to work a hell of a lot faster if I’m gonna be any use on the track. Whoever said that derby is 80% played in your head was absolutely right – I need to get a whole lot better at planning my actions before I just DO a thing!

Despite my first time jamming being kinda frustrating, I learnt an absolute ton today. It really doesn’t seem that long ago that we were all getting crazy frustrated about crossovers and a solid plow – the whole team has come such a long way in just a few months! After chatting to some of the girls we seem to be finding that our strengths and weaknesses are also really different from what we thought. For me, I always assumed that hitting was my best skill, but after fighting through the pack today I realised that actually, I can dodge a hit far better than I can give one, and in fact, I hit like a total girl haha!)

But enough words for today! I’m so happy, and exhausted, and pleased that I’ve finally found a team sport that I can completely immerse myself in without worrying about peripheral things like if I’m good enough, like if people will like me, like making sure I look or behave a certain way: no-one cares about that crap here. I think in looking for the perfect sport, I’ve actually found something even better – a roller derby team who are kind and genuine, and funny, and badass all at the same time.

Now I just need to fix my diet…

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Pony hair and the week of dreams

SO MANY EXCITING THINGS. I might just bullet point because I’m too excited to form paragraphs.

  • Our awesome coach has organised another mixed practise scrim for MAY (*hyperventilates*), plus some guest training…

    I gone got my hair did

    Mermaid-pony hair. It also has orange stripes but you can only see them when I swoosh it like David Ginola.

  • I went to my first ever roller disco NOT resulting in broken bones. (Also my second ever roller disco).
  • Whilst at said disco I freaked at the mad skills of a Mrs Dave Grohl and played hockey on wheels. Felt sad that one of our ace coaches is leaving this week 😦
  • Had our first skate with A Boy last Sunday. He was very tall and good at hitting girls. (This isn’t why our coach is leaving.)
  • Loads of the rollergirls are so close to being min-skills passed which means PRACTISE SCRIMS SOON!
  • Our league’s skate names have been sent to TwoEvils for registration… 😀
  • I finally worked out backwards crossovers and can occasionally do it intentionally now (haha). Transitions also seem to be a regular drill now at training, which is making a massive difference to my skating, control and stopping.
  • I took a friend (also a boy) to a roller derby bout a few months back and now he’s obsessed with skating and is training with Cardiff’s merby boys and he’s really really good already.
  • Rollergirl Come Dine with Me this week (EEK!)
  • The Little Mermaid and My Little Pony had a love child and it was my hair.

The end!

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Life is what happens while you’re busy playing roller derby

Everything seems to be going double-speed at the moment. In two weeks I’ve worked nearly 100 hours, headed my first big design project in my day job (scary), been treated to another delightful rollergirl meal (yum!), put a deposit on a house (also scary), passed my minimum skills(!!!), and hit a decent few Bath Digifest events. And all the while I can’t stop thinking about roller derby! It’s like my life is forcing me to become a grown-up, while the rest of me is screaming ‘NO! GO WEAR WHEELS ON YOUR FEET AND PANTS ON YOUR HEAD, AND HIT GIRLS!’

I’m totally not complaining though; in the grand scheme of things, this week rates highly as one of the actual best ever.

Scruffy skates

Skates update: the poor Suregrips appear to have taken a bit of a beating, with a snapped lace and some rather well-worn boot padding… sorry little skates!

The most exciting roller news for Bath this week is that we have our very first closed-door scrimmage booked in for June! Which is like, ONLY TWO MONTHS AWAY. I’m equal parts super-excited and terrified – but hopefully two months means lots of time to practise. Having never scrimmaged as a Bath team there is vague potential for actual death occurring (especially with my clumsy limbs involved, (and my cousin’s wedding the night before)), but it’ll be a great opportunity for our team to learn loads, and I really really can’t wait. Two of us are now min skills passed, and loads of others as-good-as-passed – I’m hoping we can start internally scrimmaging really soon so we can at least remain upright during the closed bout! Eeeeeeeeeeee!

The only thing that could make next week better than this one is a certain cupcake-related event that might just’ve had some input from a derby girl across the pond… Details soon!

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Holy crap I’m a rollergirl!

*Explodes in shower of wheels and guts and stickers*

I had my final assessment today (the written bit), and I am crap at tests (it’s official) but I got 43 out of 45! *Hyperventilates*

(Here is me looking smug with my pass sheet :) )

(Here is me looking smug with my pass sheet 🙂 )

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Frome Alone

I was accidentally really early for training today, and rather than sit and wait in the cold lobby alone, the lovely caretaker-box-office man suggested I just go straight into the hall…

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